Sneaker Freaker.

10 Jan

I still can’t believe I missed the signs…

1.            Staring at the ground when walking (I mistook this for nervousness)

2.            Jumping over puddles or avoiding rough surfaces (I mistook this for playfulness)

3.            Arranging to meet for dates outside ‘Hype’ shoe store.

4.              His first pick up line; ‘You have a beautiful sole’ followed by an SMS ‘Nix, meet me at the mall- just for kicks’

It took me at least 4 months before i realised…..

Yes, I was dating a Sneaker Freaker (SF)

This is not a mere ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ obsession. It is an addiction. It is a disease.

Some of the symptoms include;

1. Continually craving for the smell of patent leather (the equivalent of a new car smell)

2. Buying doubles of a pair (in case one gets ‘lost/eaten by the dog/or worn by the 12 year old kid next door’)

3. Sacrificing sleep, to ensure prime positioning an online queue for the purchase of the latest kicks from USA.

My SF, can pick a dud or fake in his sleep…four Adidas stripes instead of three, Nike spelt with 2 ‘e’s, unstraight stitching, if the toe can flip back to touch the tongue…

Things I have learnt from my Sneaker Freaker:

– The ultimate high point for a Sneaker Freaker is ‘The Nod’ (when a stranger  on the street glances at your sneakers and continues to gives you the nod of approval).

– Painting prints are not the things that come in sets (ie. 1 of 25). As my SF bragged about his ice-cream converse sneakers being 1 of 1000 in the world.

– Sneakers should never be described as ‘interesting, cool or colourful’ instead they are ‘fresh’.

I guess I should not complain… his addiction could be worse, porcelain dolls, star wars figurines (I don like sci-fi) or delicate flower-pressing…


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