The M-word.

19 Jun

I have a problem. It was first noticed  in year 9 biology class. It sounded like someone was screeching their nails down a blackboard…I honestly felt like dry-retching. This physical reaction continued throughout the next few classes. I had no idea what it was. When we changed topics from bacteria/micro-organisms to human biology… all adverse physical reactions (ie. Sweating, hot flushes etc) disappeared.

It then dawned on me, one day whilst watching Jamie Oliver’s cooking show. The sudden onset of nausea reappeared, however only when Jamie mentioned a certain word….

I can’t bring my self to type it. But, i’ll let you fill in the blanks M_IST” – Clue: it rhymes with hoist.

The mystery had been solved. All those times  felt violently ill…Mrs Chamber’s in Yr 9 Biology “Bacteria needs a M_IST environment to thrive”… Art class; “Make sure the clay is nice and M_IST”…

I started to notice the word everywhere. I also began to realise that there were other words that I could not stand.

– Panties

– Soggy

– Ointment

– Purple (think it is just such an UGLY word for such a nice colour)

My school friend Murphy, soon learnt of my physiological aversion to these words. As a joke (definitely not a funny one) she began writingthese words (in permanent marker) all over my drink bottle, folders, pencil case etc. She also went a step further, to combine my most hated words “Soggy, M_IST panties”. I actually thought I was going to be sick. I couldn’t escape.

To this day I still can’t escape.

I love cooking, yet the word haunts me every time; “Excellent cake nix, its so ‘M_IS_””.  Admittedly, I have not chosen the prime career when it comes to my allergic reaction to the M-word. At work, I am surrounded by the word everyday (I work at Tip Top Bakeries), “Nikita, I want the brand communications to really reinforce how “M_IST” the bread is.

I joined the facebook group “I Hate the word M_IST” – there are hundreds of people out there with the same phobia. Now, I don’t feel like such a freak.

Hmmm…..I just realised I maybe shouldn’t have posted this. Please respect my wishes and when in my presence, never mention the M-word.

thanks you.




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