Part 3: 34 Westbrook – On the brightside

17 Jul

Only had one childhood home…or maybe two if you count that engulfed in flames (I’m not being insensitive, but sometimes you have to look on the bright side – without that horrible event, we wouldn’t have built this one). Either way, I’ve pretty much lived on the same block of land all my life. It’s a wierd concept. I’ve always slept in the same room. Nightmares, dreams, sleep eating (Yes, it has happened (only recently), I slept ate weetbix and milk) it has all happened within the confines of the same home.

Everything in my home is so familiar. I know how to walk up and down the stairs in the pitch black. I know exactly where the light switch is without looking. I also know, which windows to avoid the neighbors when doing the NCD (naked clothesline dash after a shower – running down stairs stark naked, & whipping clothes of the line).

The thought of not driving into my driveway. Not waking up in the same room. Not eating dinner on the same table. Not soaking in the weekend sun on the same patio….to be honest…it’s emotionally confronting. I am a nostalgic creature, as mentioned numerous times on this blog.

Embracing the optimist within me here is a list of 10 things I will not miss:

1. The door handle that dad put on backward (on purpose)- so he could hear us sneaking out late to visit the ‘fella’s’ at night.

2. As per point 1, the creaky, windy staircase – wakes everyone up in the house – not great, after one to many ‘soda’s’.

3. The 575 bus (to all those Turramurra High students that lighted school bags on fire, tripped up old ladies (and myself…only occasionally – I was a nerd at school) & threw unidentified objects at Don the bus driver’s head…I still can not forgive you)

4. The creepy man, that has threatened to kill our dogs/eat our dogs (ok, so I made that up…but he would if he could – he is disgusting)

5. Jumping over the gate (getting my skirt hitched, or face planting it into the driveway) – we never use the gate buttons.

6. The ‘noise’ pollution that comes from my parents room every night – I mean the TV…the sound carries through the paper thin walls. I have been dubbed the ‘noise police’. It’s a duty I take on with some pride.

7. “Ohhhh…so you live in Wahroonga – do you have deer in your back garden” – A phrase, that I heard multiple times, upon meeting ‘cool city slicker kids’ at university.

8. The 2076 ‘Bike Gang’ – Gang of underage boys (and skanks, I mean girls) who ‘hang’ at the corner shop & smoke on the nature strip outside my house & pee on our lawns (I’ve also seen this multiple times…I know who you are)

9.The annual egging of my car – No, its not even done on Halloween. Ok, I get it…It is a yellow Honda Jazz & is so bright that it can be seen from the next suburb…Seriously, come on -give me a break.

9. The birds that sing like a pubescent boy who’s voice is breaking…not cool at 5am – especially with a killer hangover.

10. The ‘doof, doof, doof’….noise residue from underage private-school tweens, in short-shorts, binge drinking & gate-crashing open house parties whilst their parents are away for the weekend. Rewind the clock back 5 years and I guess you could say I was one of those tweens. I know what you are thinking…why are you at home on a Saturday night loser? Yes, true, sometimes I do like to spend weekend in drinking peppermint tea in front of the heater.


One Response to “Part 3: 34 Westbrook – On the brightside”

  1. Tom July 21, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

    this blog is hilarious, why hasn’t it gone viral?

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