Quarter Life Crisis: Its real.

24 Jul

Apologies, I need to take a quick interlude from the ‘Westbrook Series’. It is a serious matter. It happened yesterday. I knew it was coming…I just chose to ignore it.

I turned 25.

Turning 21, was all about legally drinking out of red cups in Boston. Turning 22 was awesome. Turning 23 was fun. Turning 24 was cool. Then…BAM…I turned 25. It happened quicker than you can say mojito. Closer to 30 than 20. Half way to 50. Entering a new demographic bracket – Ticking the 25-34 box.

This is no numbers game. It is real.

This ‘quarter life crisis’ people talk about, is not a mere disillusionment. It’s a genuine phenomenon. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression & acceptance. At the risk of sounding over-dramatic (or morbid)…. this quarter life crisis resembles that of the grief process.

You have heard the stories… the 25 yr old guy who quit his job as a lawyer and went to Argentina to farm lamas. Or the 25 yr old girl who went on a holiday to Borneo and ended up staying there – becoming an activist and marrying a local multiple piercings. Such stories are not uncommon…. 25 being the common denominator. Don’t underestimate the power of the ‘quarter life crisis’. Don’t laugh. These stories are real.

My own experience of the ‘crisis’ became evident, when I started analysising every aspect of my life. The analysing soon transformed into questioning – ‘Is this really my life? ‘what am I doing?’, ‘Is my job meaningful?’ , ‘Am I contributing to the greater world?’. My mums daily reminders did not help either; “Ven, I vas your age I had 2 children and a husband” (Many Indian’s have trouble pronouncing ‘W’s…). Thanks mum. I get it!

I also have been feeling extreme nostalgia for my teenage years – I have found myself saying “I used to be able to back it up and go out every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night, nowadays forget ‘backing it up’…I can’t last past 12:30”.

Growing up, I remember thinking that 25 years was so OLD, it seemed like an eternity away; a milestone that would be marked with a sense of achievement. I envisioned that by 25; I would be married, have a few kids under my belt and have written a cook book titled “Nix likes to mix”. The reality, is far from it. I am still living at home, the closest thing to my cookbook is this pointless blog and I am as close to having kids as Shapelle Corby is to getting out of jail!

Admittedly, I already possess the traits of a 75 year old grandma (preferring a hot peppermint tea over a cosmopolitan cocktail). And yes, admittedly, my 80 year old grandfather has a better social life than I do (it is not unusual for him to SMS me to reschedule dinner as his ‘ bridge friends have decided to hit the pub for a drink’). Nevertheless, turning 25 has really impacted me.

Like with any ‘crisis’ (big or small)- something good always emerges from it. I think this quarter life crisis, will lead to ‘self-discovery’….I want to go back to uni and do journalism, I want to travel some more, I want to learn how to salsa dance, I want to create my own herb garden, I want to embark on some hardcore DIY projects….I want to be surrounded my people who I love and make me laugh…. It is only through facing the cloud of confusion, frustration & ambiguity that such clarity has been able to emerge.

I’ve realised – what is the point in questioning & stressing…Life is what happens when you spend all of your time worrying, longing for the past or wishing for the future.

Perhaps it is time I stop planning and start doing.

You know actually may be it is a numbers game, as they say ‘you are only as old as you feel’.

I will you keep posted of my ‘quarter life crisis’ as the year progresses. Feel free to share your experience of the ‘crisis’…

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4 Responses to “Quarter Life Crisis: Its real.”

  1. Ali July 25, 2011 at 12:01 am #

    Nix! Im all over the quarter life crisis. Dont not fear, you’re not the only one. Heading back to uni next year! And travelling to India. xx

  2. Stephenie Zamora July 26, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

    This is a great post about your personal experience. My advice to you (as someone who has “survived” her own QLC) is to NOT attempt to create more of what you THINK you want or need in your life. It takes internal exploration about who you REALLY are and what you REALLY want. It takes time and patience, but you will come out the other side happier, healthier and living a life you really love. Yes, all of that fun stuff may be what you want and need, but take pause and reflect on what you really want out of your life. Wishing you the best! You can read my story on the about page of my site. Much love, xo

  3. Mel July 27, 2011 at 3:50 am #

    Dude. We skipped the country. I hear ya. When I’m back will join you for salsa for sure. xx

  4. Sonal Shah July 27, 2011 at 3:52 am #

    Nix, a very happy, although belated, very happy 25th birthday to a special gal! What QLC are you talking about. . . . . . you are living the dream life with a great family and great parents who defs adore you!! not to mention Jai!!

    Loved reading your blog, great talent there! Have you considered writing something/anything?? You obviously enjoy it and certainly have the flair for it.

    Having a good time in Alaska presently, after being stranded in Chicago overnight. . . . . and having lost one of our bags, with all our formal clothes. . . . . . .walked close to 14k around Anchorage today, hoping to recover the bag tomorrow, Anup …..uncle is not stressed, never fear, i’m stressing for the whole family. . . . . will happily share the gory details when we see you next.

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