Archive | August, 2011

The awkward moment when…

17 Aug

The awkward moment when you realise you have had a piece of  green parsley in between your teeth…for the last 2 hrs.

The awkward moment when you go to introduce someone and ….your mind goes blank.

The awkward moment when you order the ‘usual’ to the cute barista and he has no idea what you are talking about (Matteo, if you are reading this – Do I have an unforgettable face/personality? Or did you just enjoy watching me get embarrassed? After 5 yrs of uni, you still asked for my name & coffee…every morning)

The awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone then walk the same direction.

The awkward moment when you start cheering wildly, only to realise you have just watched an instant replay.

The awkward moment when you think someone is waving to you….but they are waving at someone behind.

The awkward moment which you reach into your pocket to get your ‘lipgloss’, but instead pull out your female sanitary item (ok, this happened to me last week,  it was absolutely mortifying!!).

Awkward moments are inescapable. They are unexpected. There is no warning. Take comfort in the fact that they happen to everyone (well…nearly everyone….maybe not the Queen or Opera).

All of the above  are personal experiences – all of which have happened multiple times.  You never become desensitised, no matter how many times these awkward moments arise, they are each as painful as the next.  Lucky for me, my Indian complexion never allows me to go visibly ‘red’…instead, I just feel the burning heat as it rises up my neck.

One awkward moment, which I have experience repeatedly .… is that my ‘fly’ is always open. No I’m not a pervert – I don’t do it on purpose. I swear it must be my body shape. No matter what brand, what style (high-waisted included), for some reason my fly becomes undone. Yes, I am aware of the zip ‘locking mechanism’ where you push the zip downward. What amazes me is the myriad of ways, people address the ‘open fly’ situation. Some discreetly lock eye contact with me and then look down at my crotch – they stare, until I get the hint. Others, blatantly (and loudly) state “Nix, your fly is undone”.

Even as a pre-teen on a trip to Disney Land in the USA,  the Donald Duck character kept pointing at me, and miming me to ‘do up your fly”.  Obviously I have not grown out of it ; this year, on the morning of  my 25th birthday, my ‘fly situation’ stepped up a notch. As I was pulling up my fly – the zipper snapped, flew off, hit the window & fell into the toilet bowl. I was in a café, needless to say, I spent the day with my fly undone.

True story. All I can say, is lucky I’m not a guy.

So next time you see someone with toilet paper stuck on their shoe, their jumper on backwards or you can see that their toupe is creeping down their forehead to create a second eyebrow……don’t judge, laugh or embarrass them…because next time it could be you!

Feel free to comment with some awkward moments you have faced…

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Part 4: 34 Westbrook – Hinges, doorknobs and rimming….

7 Aug

 

It is often the small things that go unnoticed.

I find it fascinating. I have woken up in the same room for 22 years. I’ve brushed my teeth in the same bathroom and sat in the same position on our family dining table. Despite all these things being literally in front of my eyes every day – I still cant recall the small details – I couldn’t tell you the design of tiles in our bathroom, which piece of art is currently hanging in our main dining room  (to my defence, this changes regularly – this comes with living with an artist) or even the colour of our living room blinds (off-white, caramel…or are they wooden slats….) I haven’t a clue.

It is only natural that things in your immediate environment, become routine, familiar and ordinary –  you become desensitised. Your eyes see it, but there is no association in your mind. It is just…there.

It is only until… things start to change, to move, to disappear – that you suddenly become more perceptive and alert to the smaller details.

Being confronted with the reality of moving out, the details of my home are emerging from the woodwork (excuse the pun). As we ‘style’ our house for prospective buyers, de-clutter  and tidy our home is changing. Has that always been there? Something is missing from the garden, but I don’t know what it is? Has that wall always been teal blue? This has nothing to do with my short-sightedness, or my non-observant behavioural trait. I mean, I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but analysing each room to ensure optimal ‘presentation’, had really made me open my eyes.

Dad made a comment “Shame, our bathrooms are not tiled all the way to the ceiling?” “I wonder whether the brick wall in the study will be an issue?”- Alarm bells went off. Really? In 22 yrs, despite using the same shower and spending endless hours in the study – I’ve never noticed the tiles or the brick wall. I guess, it’s because, there was no need to take notice.

I believe this idea can be extended to people. We see people as an entire being (seeing them as a sum of their parts), that is, until things change – they may move away or they may pass away….then you force yourself to remember each mole, the smell of their perfume and their hair colour… as you rack your brain to hold onto the details, it becomes evident how the ‘smaller things’, aren’t so ‘small’ anymore – instead they have become significant.

Moral: Stop and the smell the roses. Take in the little details.

Just a thought!

Saying goodbye to the 2076 Hood.

1 Aug

10 things I will miss….

1. The bush turkey’s roaming the streets (and the occasional echidna)

2.  Tom the Green grocer & his ‘pick n mix’ & ice-cream selection (yes mum, that’s where the change went when I bought the milk & bread)

3. Junction Lane (the no through road on the side of our house)- with the perfect downward gradient – the ultimate place for riding bikes, home-made billy carts, razor scooters and rollerblades…

4. Dodgy Don – the infamous North Shore alcohol supplier to under 18’s.

5. Spying on the ‘undercover’ drug circle, headed by a 30 year old ranga (yes – he has orange hair, still lives with his mum and has illegal car parts scattered on his lawn)

6. Referring to my hood as the ‘2076’

7. The neighbor calling me to tell me to shut my blinds (because she can see me dancing…naked- Yes it has happened…multiple times)

8. The sound of dirt bikes revving their way to Golden Jubilee at 1am in the morning (Kurin-gai council if you are reading this, I am NOT happy with the plan to build a world class dirt bike ramp on jubilee – not cool)

9. The 20 second stroll to the Hampden “restaurant’ strip – Cozy Thai & La Zana (Spying/watching my sister Alisha, get fired from La Zana was a definite highlight)

10. Knowing how to get home…..with my directional incapability, I can sense the number of ‘getting lost’ situations rising exponentially…

Oh, one more thing –apologies to those teenagers who I yelled at the other day (They were making noise & were being generally disruptive – So I yelled out my window “Shut up & go back to your homes, I will tell your mother’s”). Anyways.…I promise I’m not a bitter and twisted old woman…something inside of me died, when I realised that my days of riding the curbside, making mud pies and eating ice-blocks in the summer sun.

2076 you will be missed.